Second Chance Heroes
Features[edit | edit source]
Weird worlds[edit | edit source]
The story so far...
Three weeks from now, things have gone horribly wrong in the town of Hungerton, USA. Once a thriving, peaceful community, Hungerton has been overrun by a series of overlapping (and quite inconvenient) apocalypses.
Everything from fast food to household appliances has gained malevolent sentience, the dead have risen, the specter of nuclear Armageddon looms and - perhaps worst of all - it's become nearly IMPOSSIBLE to find what you're looking for during a trip to the Mall.
Amid the chaos, a lone figure stands... um... alone. His name is HUBERT BEASLEY - local high school history teacher and part-time amateur human cloning enthusiast!
Knowing better than to rely on the denizens of the modern world to solve anything more complicated than microwaving a burrito, Hubert has turned to the PAST - when people REALLY knew how to take care of business.
After a quick trip around the globe, raiding crypts and robbing tombs, Hubert has collected enough DNA to begin using the cloning equipment he developed in his garage to bring back some of history's greatest heroes. He'd just finished his first batch when his home was overrun by a horde of hungry, wild-eyed monsters!
Hubert and his first round of clones managed to fight off the invaders, but many of his samples were carried off in the confusion and their current whereabouts are unknown. Without them, Hubert can't generate any new batches of clones and Hungerton - and likely the rest of the world - will be DOOMED!
But the clone Heroes won't give up! They're well-armed, battle-hardened and ready to go. They'll do everything they can to find the missing DNA samples, turn back the tide of monstrous calamity and defend what's left of Hungerton's citizens.
They've been given a second chance... to save the world!
Intense action[edit | edit source]
Second Chance Heroes isn't a dungeon crawler. It's a dungeon sprint. This is MOSTLY because, if you spend your time crawling around, you'll probably get eaten - but it's ALSO because the pace of gameplay is fast and relentless. Who wants to spend hours on end wandering around in a dank, empty caves when you COULD be running around like a maniac, bringing the GLORIOUS FIST OF JUSTICE down on the soft, gooey skull of evil?!
Some games trickle the action out at you at a leisurely, methodical pace. Second Chance Heroes opens up a FIRE HOSE OF ADVENTURE and aims it right at YOUR FACE. As you fight your way through dozens of levels, you'll never be more than a few steps away from imminent death. If you want to rest, get yourself a nice, warm pair of footie pajamas and a warm mug of cocoa. On the other hand, if you want your face to peel off from PURE HEROIC AWESOMENESS, we've got a game for you.
Two Characters Are Better Than One[edit | edit source]
When you're making plans to kick the End of the World in the teeth, you really want to have OPTIONS. Lots and lots of 'em!
Whether you feel like mowing down an army of malevolent robots with a hail of machine gun fire or getting up close and personal to split the skulls of a few hundred ravening ghouls with a chainsaw, we've got you covered!
While you're up to your eyeballs in action (well, MOSTLY action - some of it is probably zombie guts), you'll unlock a dozen different clone heroes to use in your never-ending battle against evil. Every hero has a special combination of weapons and abilities that provide new, unique ways to strike fear into the hearts of your enemies! And probably into their other organs as well. My most easily-spooked organ is probably my spleen, so I assume that's true for monsters too. QUIVER, oh fearful undead spleens!
Where was I? Oh yes. Lots of clones! A dozen clones means the toughest challenge you're likely to face is choosing which one to use.
But wait... THERE'S MORE!
If you act now, we'll let you choose TWO clones every time you enter battle! That's right folks, two clones for the price of one, but you have to act fast! Call now. RIGHT NOW. Operators are standing b-
Hang on for a moment, folks. Ah... I see. I'm being told that everyone will always be able to take two clones into battle, regardless of whether they call now or not. Also, I'm being told we don't have a phone.
ANYWAY, it's just like swimming at summer camp! Always bring a buddy along in case some nameless horror from the deep tries to eat you.
Money For Something (Guts for Free)[edit | edit source]
Like all good monsters, the creatures in Second Hand Heroes survive off of a diverse diet made up of equal parts of human brains, spare change and curiously powerful baubles. That's bad news for all the poor saps they've eaten, but it's GREAT NEWS for you! Yes, the whole game is chock full of meaty (and mechanically and... uh... othery) piñatas, just waiting for you to come along, bust 'em open and then help yourself to the goodies!
And while you may not necessarily want to spend your time elbow-deep in the innards of your fallen foes, you WILL want to hoard all of that PRECIOUS, PRECIOUS GOLD that spills out of them. Why? Because these characters aren't going to upgrade themselves, that's why! As you fight your way through the game, you will be able to tweak and mold your favorite clone heroes to suit your preferred play-style. All it takes is piles of WONDERFUL, SHINY GOLD. Yesssss... GOOOOOOLD.
What else falls out of monsters when you gently usher them into their graves? Strange and dangerous power-ups. Whether it's a calling down an aerial bombardment, getting your enemies to stop attacking with the power of SWEET DISCO MUSIC or deploying a strategically placed mime (to give monsters something BETTER to chew on), the proper use of power-ups can make all the difference between eternal glory and getting caught in the teeth of a sentient cheeseburger.
Characters[edit | edit source]
As you can probably tell, we're short quite a few heroes at the moment. Hubert (our resident high school history teacher and DIY cloning expert) had just finished cooking up the first batch of clone heroes when a horde of unspeakable creatures overran his lab/suburban two-car garage. They really wrecked the place. We're not even sure how to break the news to Hubert that his near-mint collection of "Learn Yodeling At Home" VHS tapes was destroyed. But yodeling will have to wait because we've got bigger problems.
We got lucky and the first round of clones was able to grab Hubert during the attack and get him to safety, but in all the chaos all of his remaining DNA samples were carried off. They're well-sealed inside of old tennis ball containers, so there's a good chance that the samples are intact. We just need to hunt for them. If you can track them down, Hubert can supplement your clone army with new additions throughout the game.
4-player Co-op[edit | edit source]
We got action. Lots of action! Action for one, action for two, three and you guessed it... FOUR! Yes, you and up to three of your closest friends, or random strangers (take your pick) can blast your way through strange new worlds, underground civilizations and kill like no-one has killed before!
"At first, we did not approve of the idea of working so closely with the French," said Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth I, "but we eventually came to realize that that little cannon riding Frenchmen was hatched in New Jersey just like us."
These paragons of history will each set aside their differences for 10 to 15 minute bursts to conquer the evil that no heroes of today could possibly stand up to.
Unfortunately, the enemies figured out that sometimes Napoleon, Elizabeth and others can get alone and have taken measures to compensate.
"Graarargrgh," said the reanimated corpse of local barista Vince. "Braaaaaaaaaaaaains."
The creatures infesting the Hungerton Mall, a once majestic underground Hobo Colony, and the time warped Site Z Bunker, band together to seamlessly adjust their forces on the fly. They can compensate to one, two, three or four heroes who might invade their personal space.
To fight this menace, you - the ruler of all these rulers - must work together with your friends and make sure no wars break out on the way to ultimate victory.
Just this once, you'll find Napoleon needs to rally around Queen Elizabeth's Union Jack in order to heal and survive. Joan of Arc will leap to the rescue of a beleaguered chainsaw wielding Abraham Lincoln, and if all else goes wrong, Napoleon's self-propelled traveling cannon will clear the path for the others.
"Don't tell these idiots how it works!" Napoleon yelled. "I've got a patent and until they reanimate Thomas Edison, I intend to keep it!"
Second Chance Heroes is a game of rivals, who are forced to be friends to kill re-animated cheeseburgers. These legends of the history books are being cooperative. So should you. As they say, those who command their clones as a team collect the most zombie gold.